A friend asked me recently if I’d heard of Rutger Bregman’s book Humankind: A Hopeful History.
I hadn’t, but my curiosity was piqued! So, I dived into reviews and Goodreads and ordered it from the library (still waiting excitedly!). What I did surmise is Bregman makes a case for us humans being, fundamentally, good. He addresses a question important through the ages, that is:
What do you believe humans are at their core? Said another way:
What is human nature?
That question is also at the heart of all religions. It’s in all our histories, including the era of the Greeks, who created stories of mythic half-human, half-God creatures to help explain the nuances in human nature. Why do good people sometimes do bad things? Are you bad if you do bad things? Is there a God, because if there is one: why do bad things still happen?
This inquiry into our humanity yields many riches and as I thought more about the message of the book, I realized I’ve also grappled with this question my whole career as a mediator.
What we think is at the core of human nature is central to how we approach conflict.
Given my parents were directly impacted by the war and the violence and brutality it leaves in its wake, I was confronted with the question early on. The, when I ran a victim-offender mediation program for those who committed crimes and their victims, the question was there again. Listening to the woes on one side in a conflict, only to hear more woes from the other side, also says something about human nature.
I do know there is no doubt we can be incredibly cruel to each other, in ways I barely have the capacity to think about, let alone endure.
Yet, the question of human nature is inextricably tied to our worldview and the worldview, or culture, we live in. What is the dominant social narrative and norms that we share, and often don’t even realize we do?
Starting with increasing our awareness about our shared societal beliefs and expectations gives us more freedom of choice. We can choose our story. We can build our culture intentionally.
What does our culture believe about human nature? What do I want to believe about human nature?
Early in my career as a conflict alchemist, my worldview was influenced by a few seminal inputs.
There was Raine Eisler’s book The Chalice and the Blade – where she outlines how matriarchal societies of the past were arts and peace-oriented. A documentary featuring one of Eisler’s sources, archeologist Marijas Gimbutas, further reinforced for me that peaceful societies have existed.
Non-violent communication’s Marshall Rosenberg also dived into the question of the impact of culture and worldview on human nature, including citing the non-violence, anti-domination theologian Walter Wink.
Bill Ury inspired me as well when he outlined the attributes of peace-oriented societies in his book The Third Side. I was so excited by his findings that, years ago, I wrote a 5-page summary of his book.
What I concluded from these learnings is that, given a common culture of peace, we humans have the capacity to live lives of harmony, peace, and arts-loving connections.
When I came across Steve Pinker’s excellent but difficult to read book, The Better Angels of Our Nature – Why Violence has Declined, he introduced another aspect about human nature. Pinker tells us that violence has been declining overall in our histories and democracy is a vital force and element for peace.
That still points to culture. What culture do we live in and what culture do we want to live in?
Personally, I love the Quaker notion that each of us is born with a light inside. That perspective on human nature has led them to be fierce peace activist in many areas of society. It has also kept me looking, relentlessly, for the good in another. I believe that we are all, inherently good at our core. That’s what my career in the field of conflict has taught me. We all hurt, we all bleed, we all want calm, connection, certainty, autonomy, fairness, meaning and of course love.
When my esteemed colleague Gordon White is training in conflict resolution, he says:
“When it comes to collaborative engagement in conflict, people require an inner foundation or worldview that will sustain them through the challenges.”
So, he asks people to address five fundamental questions that impact our capacity to be collaborative. His fifth core question is:
“Are people generally good, bad, or neutral?”
Dive into all 5 of Gordon’s questions to surface what worldview you might be carrying that impacts your capacity to be a collaborative leader and to choose which beliefs you want to carry.
I’d love to hear what you discover!