Welcome to HOTY – a blog dedicated to ways to Hold On To Yourself to stay cool in conflict. This blog is inspired by the book I co-wrote with therapist Judy Zehr, also called Hold On To Yourself, where we explore how conflict and stress are connected and how to create more self-regulation to co-regulate. The blog is intended to provide insights, advice, and practical tips to help leaders develop the mindset and skills needed to create healthy work environments for all. HOTY arrives every full moon, bringing you topics to strengthen your resiliency in conflict. At each dark moon, you also receive a second newsletter, more directly dealing with conflict and leadership. This second newsletter is in partnership with the On Conflict Leadership Institute and is entitled “On Conflict”. Enjoy both and please look around the blog – there’s plenty to explore & discover!
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Cultivate Radical Hope
Over the last 7 months, I have been reviewing one moral guideline each month from the 6 moral guidelines from this article. In March, I finished the 6th precept. I decided to start them all over again. One moral precept a month. I want to remind myself and...
I am Creating Joy in my Life
Last month, I wrote about the importance of getting clear on our “why” - the “why” of why we do things. What’s our higher purpose or reasons for doing what we are doing? What is our mission? What outcome do we envision? This exploration is something I’ve been on of...
Think with a Big WHY
A few weeks ago, I did a 4 day zoom live workshop with Tony Robbins. Yes, THE Tony Robbins. Like many others, I’d read his books, listened to some of his cassette tapes, seen him on videos. The man is ubiquitous! But I’d not had the chance to “feel” him – in a more...
The Immensity of the Change in Food Security
Over the last 6 months, I have been reviewing one moral guideline each month from the 6 moral guidelines from this article. Last month, I finished the 6th precept. And you know what? I think they are so important, I have decided to start them again. The more I...
Break Open in Case of Conflict
Mediator in a Box is a product I am absolutely in love with. Recently, a leader who took my short workshop that gives you an experience using the Box, sent this picture together with this comment: "My Mediator in a Box is mounted on the wall next to the fire...
Amygdala Hijacks!
When you feel like the stakes are high for you and you combine that with a feeling of threat from someone towards that which you care about, relationship can get impacted and damaged in a nanosecond. That’s often when someone like me gets called in to help, in the...
Act for the Future
For the last five months, I’ve been referencing an articleabout 6 moral precepts from the field of bio-ethics. The article suggested we hold on to some ways of being together as we enter these times of environmental collapse. The 6 suggested moral...
Who are your Saboteurs?
Lately, I’ve come across a few ways of describing that part of ourselves which seems to want to stop us from having fun, from thriving, from achieving our dreams and goals. Internal Family Systems talk about parts of ourselves which are protectors, distorted in the...
Wandering Minds
Have you ever noticed your attention wanders off from the task at hand and moves from one subject to another? Everyone’s mind wanders. We apparently spend at least half of our waking life in the state of mind wandering. There’s even a term for it in Buddhism – they...
You Are The Sky
For the last few months, I’ve been referencing an article about 6 moral precepts from the field of bio-ethics. The article suggested we hold on to some ways of being together as we enter these times of environmental collapse. The 6 suggested...
Pinches Hurt
I was working with a client recently who is responsible for a few teams in her workplace. In one of the teams, there have been multiple conflicts. What I know for sure in those situations is that conflict is not my problem, even though I’m called in to help with it....
Breathing Through The Heart
The HeartMath Institute has been around since 1991, and is dedicated to researching and developing scientifically based tools to strengthen the connection between the heart and the brain. They are responsible for generating a lot of data and practical tools for how to...