Archives for December 2020

Creating Fundamental Wellbeing

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Jeffrey Martin is an author and researcher who has amassed a lot of information on how to create fundamental wellbeing.  He’s interviewed over 1,000 people who identify as fundamentally well, and vetted them with various psychological tests.  When he was satisfied that they did indeed meet the standard, he then proceeded to study them to decipher what goes into creating fundamental wellbeing.

What he learned about them is captured in his diagram above.  The grid illustrates those who are in the “normal” range of wellbeing on the left of the continuum, whereas those who he interviewed are on the right of the diagram.

He then went on to apply his learning into a course to help other people shift into fundamental wellbeing. He’s had 1000s go through the course over the years, and has had a high success rate of around 70%.  This year, he created a new, shorter version of the course, offering the opportunity to shift into fundamental wellbeing in 45 days. 

I heard a bit about what was involved in the course from someone I know who’d taken it, and decided to try my own 45-day experiment.  I also connected up with a friend, to keep each other accountable (that was key). 

Today was the last of my 45 days.  I’d like to share a few things I’ve learned along the way and hope it’ll spark some new feelings of wellbeing for you as well.
1. Increased Present Moment Awareness

One of the things Martin discovered is that meditation accelerates fundamental wellbeing.  There’s a lot more to his research, but, I decided to take my usual meditation practice, which is often about 20 minutes, and increase it to one hour.  Although I did not meditate for a full hour every day of the 45 days, I had other meditative practices as well, such as Qi Gong, Kundalini yoga and a few longer meditations from Dr. Joe Dispenza.

Additionally, over the years, it’s been important to me to use practices to strengthen my present-moment awareness.  I have done things like set timers throughout the day, or attached some practice to a meal (such as giving myself a pep talk) or most recently, put little stickers at doorways throughout my house reminding myself to come back to the now.  I kept up with those usual practices.

Over the last 45 days, by increasing my meditative practices, I have noticed more attention to what I am bringing in through my senses. I have also had more capacity to source a sense of stability by noticing my senses. I cannot do this practice enough. It’s been impactful to do the longer mediations but equally important to create little cues throughout the day to bring me back to here and now. 

2. More gratefulness

Martin also pulls from the research of what works to increase fundamental wellbeing from the positive psychology field.  He has people going through the course do a gratitude practice, commenting on how well substantiated gratitude is in the positive psychology literature. I have known of that research as well, and have periodically done gratitude practices, like writing down 3 things I’m grateful for.  I decided to write down 10 things I was grateful for each morning and a few at night.  Once more, these were not every day practices, but of the many days.

Without a doubt, writing down things I’m grateful for has been beneficial and cultivated a stronger sense of appreciation overall.  The wonderful thing is it seemed like gratitude became a bit of a habit: the more I noticed what I could be grateful for, the more there was to be grateful for! 

As I pause to think about this for just a moment, I’m grateful that you are reading these words.  Without that, I would not be motivated to write this reflection and take the learning deeper.  My heart is activated as I think about our relationship.  You reading now, as I’ve done myself so often with other authors, are in relationship with me writing now. I’m writing for me and for you and you are reading for you and for me.  Together we are in a virtuous loop. It’s a beautiful exchange that takes place in some unnameable space-time that is neither my-now as I write this or your-now as you read this.  That is appreciation!  So much to be grateful for!

3. Wider Sense of Identity

 
Martin describes those with a strong sense of fundamental wellbeing as not identifying strongly with their “narrated self” but with a wider sense of self.  By “narrated self” he means that self we have constructed in our thoughts.  Those with fundamental wellbeing are able to step back more easily into that witness place and notice their thoughts and emotions and allow them to float by.  This is age-old wisdom.
 
As a by-product of being more mindful and more appreciative, I did start to identify more strongly with a larger sense of self than the me in my various roles in life.  I know I am those things and more, it’s just that during the 45 days, I felt that larger sense of me more often and in a more expanded way.
 
Before going into my 45-day experiment, I was looking for “permanent” wellbeing.  But in preparing this article, I’ve discovered that Martin makes a key distinction between permanent vs persistent wellbeing.  He uses the term persistent to describe a consistent, ongoing experience of wellbeing versus a temporary one. He doesn’t use the word permanent because the research has shown that participants experiencing fundamental wellbeing can return to their previous states. Fundamental wellbeing is not permanent, at least not for some of the people he studied.  Martin defined persistent wellbeing as having continued for at least 1 year.
 
So, that made me realize there can be periods of time to wellbeing.  How long of a period can you go noticing a state of persistent wellbeing?  The 45 days created a lovely container to pay attention to, and cultivate, wellbeing with intention.
 
And, I have a new goal:  I’d like to cultivate fundamental wellbeing for a whole year! 2021 here I come!

What about you?  Want to join me?  What are your experiences of what fosters fundamental wellbeing?

Biocentrism – What if We Are All One?

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Robert Lanza is a philosopher and medical doctor with an avid interest in biology.  He hypothesizes that the perceptions we have of the world are based entirely on our biology.  Just like a spider only perceives the world through the limitation of its senses and to the end of its web, so too we humans can only perceive with the limited apparatus of our senses.  We too cannot fathom beyond the webs we spin.
 
Lanza takes things further by stating that the universe does not exist without a perceiver of that universe to create that perception. He uses time as one example to explain what he means. Time moves as it does because humans are biologically, neurologically, philosophically hardwired to experience it in that linear way. Some other part of the universe might be moving future to past, but the moment humans point their attention to time, time conforms to the past-future flow. Lanza goes on to hypothesize the universe does not really exist at all unless it is being observed by a conscious observer; everything we perceive is created by the act of perception.

If there is any truth in what Lanza is proposing, it is interesting to ask how can we create a new story about the state of our environment?  It’s a big ask, but harkens back to Joanna Macy’s idea of “The Great Turning” – the idea that we can invent a new story to inspire us, a way that we might be shifting towards a life-sustaining civilization.
 
Researchers Kate Diebels and Mark Leary created a series of studies where they wanted to examine the implications of the belief that we are all one, that despite the many divisions in the world, that individuals are part of an overarching whole.  They found that having a strong belief in oneness is associated with feeling connected to others through a recognition of our common humanity and makes it more likely that one’s care extends to encompass all of humanity, nature and even the cosmos.  
 
This is reminiscent of Jeffrey Martin’s work on cultivating a wider sense of identity that comes with Fundamental Wellbeing.  Some call this the “collective self” or for Martin, he speaks of self-transcendence. 
 
Whatever we call it, could it be that cultivating a sense of self as larger than our individual lives, larger than our families, larger than our own countries, is exactly what is called for during the sixth extinction?
 
I’d like to think that this vision of moving towards a wider identification of ourselves as citizens of the cosmos – is one worth imagining!
 
“Transcendence gets you beyond ego. If you go beyond ego, you see all of this in a more decent perspective and you can start to put all the pieces together. We haven’t don that yet. Not as a civilization.”  … Edgar Mitchell, former astronaut

Gossip is Good for Community

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A few years ago, I completed my Masters in Leadership and did my thesis on gossip. It was a topic which fascinated me, as I found gossip present when I would come to workplaces in conflict to help create more harmony and relational wellbeing again.

Firstly, I discovered that gossip in the research is defined as speaking evaluatively about someone who is not present, whether the comments are negative or positive.  I was surprised to discover that gossip is a complex topic and that it’s been badly maligned. Gossip not only has both negative and positive functions, it’s unstoppable anyway, so trying to stop it is futile and only pushes it further underground. 

What I discovered it that we must work with gossip,not against it.  As a mediation colleague I admire once said: “Define or be defined.”  That is one of the positive functions of gossip, that you can use the gossip mill in positive ways, to spread positive stories. 

I discovered another positive dimension to gossip recently through noticing more dynamics with conflicted parties.

It’s common when there is tension between two people, especially in workplaces where the communities are small, for the friends of each of the parties to comment on the tensions to the person they “side” with.  That is, if E and R are in conflict, E’s friends will comment to E about R’s unusual behaviours and vice versa. Think of the expression:  the tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with a knife. It’s not just the two people who might have tension between them; other people notice as well,

That got me thinking that gossip means you are not alone. We are all embedded in community and when somebody is sharing their perceptions of someone not present, it is a way of the community talking about itself to itself.

Gossip, in its original form, described that delicate time when a newborn arrived in the world. Those who love the child would gathered around and talk about the child, creating a divine kinship. This is the context for the word, a sharing of divinity about someone – “God-ship.”

What if we could get back to that original meeting? When we speak about each other can we keep in mind our original childlike divinity as we God-ship about each other to each other?

Remembering the divine in each other can change the nature of gossip. If we assume the one being gossiped about may also have positive qualities and best intentions, the gossip can be about how to bring the other back into the fold.

Let’s look at gossip as a type of community building, a chance for the community to talk about itself to itself.

“No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend’s or of thine own were: any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee.”  … John Donne