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Archives for May 2018

Want to Hear Yourself Think?

May 28, 2018 By Julia Menard 2 Comments

Many years ago, I came across Julia Cameron’s powerful book The Artist’s Way.  I worked with some of her concepts, and even coached someone through the book, as it’s a call back to our own creativity, a healing enabling us to reclaim our own creative voice.

A powerful tool from Cameron’s book is something called the “Morning Pages.”  It’s a very simple practice, best done writing with paper and pen (vs onto the computer).  Each morning, you sit and let your pen and your mind move through the page – for 3 pages.  There is nowhere to go, nothing to DO really – other than to keep your hand and your mind moving.  It’s an in-the-moment mindfulness practice.

I have done this practice in the past, but today, I have started again.  I have committed to a 7-day practice – and, deliciously, a friend is doing the same.  Over these 7 days, I will watch what emerges – what is beneath the surface of my mind and my heart.  What whispers want to be heard?  What insights are waiting to glisten?  What parts of me will find peace?

This morning, I was already exhilarated, carried forward, amazed.  It feels so good to sit and listen to oneself in a deep way.  Thank you Julia Cameron for this practice.

If you are tempted to try your own 7-day experiment, here is an inspiring excerpt I found that helped me re-ignite my practice, from this blog.

“There might be days that you don’t feel like writing. Write anyway. You might forget to do it in the morning. Do it in the afternoon instead, or right before bed.

You might start writing and feel like you can’t fill out three pages, it’s too hard. But fill all three anyway. The magic comes from pushing yourself to fill all three. It doesn’t matter what you write, either. You could write down what dreams you had the night before, what you are currently worrying about, the cat’s litter box habits, the chores you don’t want to do, the way your coffee tastes, a grocery list, a to do list, affirmations… Write whatever you want to write about and just don’t stop…. Write, and the truth will fall out out of your pen….

Because slowly, without your realizing it, the Morning Pages are healing you. Whatever injury you suffered, whether that be a blow to your confidence, a lack of certainty, or a sudden devastating change in your life, the Morning Pages act as a rock you can rely on and a pillow you can cry into. You can bounce ideas off the page, revel in accomplishments, rant about how your kids are driving you nuts, or vent your emotions in any way you want….

You need to let go of the fear of judgment and write what’s on your mind, no matter how petty, silly, stupid, or crazy. Have you been considering leaving your significant other, or thinking about a wild career change, or contemplating moving to another country? You need to be able to spill all of your dark desires onto paper. And the funny thing is, the Pages won’t let you lie. Somehow the act of writing a lie, even if you are lying to yourself, makes it laughably obvious that it’s fake and you have to face it. This is something that makes the Pages a little bit scary, because if you have been living in an unhappy situation and you have been lying to yourself about how happy you are, the Pages will make you look at your life with honest eyes and you will need to do one of two things:

  1. Do something about it
  2. Continue living in the crappy situation knowing full well that you could get out.”

Would love to hear if you have a writing practice and how it has helped you!

Dying and Revillaging

May 28, 2018 By Julia Menard 2 Comments

Crows know how to deal with their dying and dead.  When a crow dies, a call goes out and other crows come to mourn.  Elephants also have a compelling response when their kin dies.  Elephants have even been described as having “a fascination with death” (George Wittemyer, Colorado State University conservation biologist). According to a report by the New Scientist, dolphins and whales, along with chimps, gorillas and elephants, may experience “complex emotions once believed to be reserved for human beings: deep grief at the death of a loved one.”

This also applies to dolphins and to primates.  I especially love this line:  “While interpretations of animal behavior are always suspect to some degree… Gonzalvo’s [a researcher] interpretation is backed by at least one recent study on cetacean neurology which showed that dolphins and whales possess specialized, human-like ‘spindle’ neurons, which are the brain cells linked to empathy, grief and intuition in humans.”

So why would it be any surprise that we humans too are wired for empathy, grief and clan gatherings.

Irishman Kevin Toolis has come out with a new book documenting the dying and grieving rituals from his father’s small town in Ireland.  His explanation of the gathering and the villaging that happens is so touching.  In this short video, he so eloquently explains the jist of the dying and death journey and the way we can gather as humans in the face of the death and dying of our loved ones.

Watch his video. There’s not much more to say then. Other than, as Toolis himself tells us in the final chapter of his book:  “If you can find yourself a decent Irish Wake to go to, just turn up and copy what everyone else is doing…Take your kids along too if you can. Learning how to die is just a foreign language – the younger you start the easier it gets.”

And, go buy Kevin’s book here.

Living the Principle of Impermanence

May 28, 2018 By Julia Menard Leave a Comment


A friend of mine is dying as I write this.  She’s been a friend for 15 years and she’s always been strong and beautiful and graceful.  Today I saw her for the first time in a few months.  She was heavily sedated on morphine and looked small and frail and a shadow of her former self.  Where did the other person go?  Why is she not there anymore?  Where is this person going – and when?

We will all face death and most of us, if we’ve lived long enough, will be touched by it directly.  Death brings with her so many gifts – not the least of which is the reminder that nothing, and I mean nothing, is permanent.

And yet, for me (I don’t know about you), I want things to remain the same so many times in my life.  I want you to remain exactly as you are, dear friend.  I want to know you will call me again.  I want to know you will be there for me time and again and that I can be there for you time and again.

What I crave is… permanence.  That sense of control over events and certainty that nothing will change. This is my confession.

Can you relate?

The Dalai Lama tells us: “Impermanence is chosen as a worthy object of meditation in Buddhism because, although we may understand it intellectually, we mostly do not behave as though we have integrated this awareness. A combination of analysis and concentration on this topic brings the insight to life so that we appreciate the preciousness of every moment of our experience.”

To live as if you will never see someone you love again is hard work.  At least it seems hard work to me, a mere mortal who has not yet mastered the art and practice of impermanence.

One Buddhist precept that may help is the idea of taking “refuge”- to find comfort – in the fact that everything is uncertain. We simply do not know how things will turn out ever.  We do not know what will happen from one minute to the next, really.  If we contemplate that fact, the Buddhists tell us, we can develop an inner flexibility to respond to situations as they appear. In this way, we prepare our heart – which can then be ready for change that comes as surely as the rushing river.

Transitioning from this reality to one we can never understand from this vantage point, is a big change.  It is the ultimate change.  Will I hurt when my friend dies?  Oh, I know I will.  Will I want to honour her life by cultivating a deeper appreciation and practice of the principle of impermanence?

Yes I will.

What do you think?

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