Archives for August 2017

I had a great conversation recently with a friend of mine,sharing ideas and points of view.  One idea we talked about was environmental degradation and how our world as we know it is now on a downward slide. We are no longer in the economic expansion era of the 1950s, 60s or even 70s – where things seem to be “getting better.”  Climate change, overpopulation, pollution – these warnings from the 1960s and 1970s are catching up with us.  They are happening now.

What is the impact?  Most of us as a species are aware, I am sure, consciously or unconsciously, that our habitat is degrading.  How could we not?  We may not be able to articulate this with words, but every life form has a built-in desire to survive.  We are no different.  We want to survive as a species.  And we must, therefore, have some inkling that we are in grave, if not irreversible, danger.

From this place of pain, just like the place of pain in interpersonal conflict, we seek to blame and to understand.  Blaming and understanding are intertwined: I blame you because I want to make sense of what is happening.  When I blame you, I believe I know why something is wrong.

The challenge is that blame can keep us locked in one very limited viewpoint: my own and only those who agree with my own.

The times call for more viewpoints, more conversations, more dialogue, more understanding, more innovation. Not less.  It breaks my heart that we are entering an age where our points of view are increasingly calcified.  We need more shared spaces to converse – shared spaces to bring together traditionally “left’ and “right” points of view.  These days, those with a “left” point of view read the same kinds of news sources as those with their own points of view.  This is the same phenomenon on the “right.”  In times past, we all read the same kind of news sources, ensuring some new ideas and stretching of perspectives.

What we need today are more places we can come together and learn from each other’s perspectives.  We need each other now more than ever.  My fervent wish is that we can rise above blaming our struggles and dangers on each other and come together in shared spaces for the higher purpose of elevating our common human family.

From blaming to conversing.

Where do you see those shared spaces?

“A key difference between a dialogue and an ordinary discussion is that, within the latter people usually hold relatively fixed positions and argue in favor of their views as they try to convince others to change. At best this may produce agreement or compromise, but it does not give rise to anything creative. What is essential here is the presence of the spirit of dialogue, which is in short, the ability to hold many points of view in suspension, along with a primary interest in the creation of common meaning.”  … David Bohm & David Peat

This article was first published in the June 2017 edition of HEN – my newsletter coming to you every full moon. Sign up to receive your free conflict tips by subscribing here.

The image I have chosen for my month is two maple leaves. I grew up in Montreal, and on the way home from school from time to time, I would stop to collect beautiful multi-coloured maple leaves to gift to my mother.  Maple leaves are symbolic for many of us of back east – and of Canada itself.

These two leaves were ones I found on a beautiful property in St. Saveur in July, a village north of Montreal.  I spent most of July in Montreal, visiting my mother most every day in hospital.  She is almost 88 years old now, and has dementia as well as various other health issues that can go along with aging.

Near the end of my stay, I got to spend a few days with a dear friend from my Montreal childhood.  She knows my mother well and I knew her mother too, who passed a few years ago.  We met in St. Saveur – she was coincidentally in town at the same time, visiting from her home in California.

We spent one morning kayaking on the lake in front of where she was staying.  It was calming, rejuvenating and connecting.  After our adventure, I spent a bit of time at the side of the lake.  I was looking into the water’s edge when I noticed multiple leaves of various kinds in the water.  Many of them were partially submerged in the sand under the water.

The black leaf in my picture is of a maple leaf I found partially submerged in the sand and water shoreline.  I carefully pulled it out and laid it on the dock to dry.  It fascinated me.  I found a new, green leaf of similar proportions as its companion.

Together, they are the image of my July.  On the one hand, we have the prime of our lives.  We are green and vibrant and full of life.  My childhood in Montreal, with my mother as she was, with my friend preserved as she was.  As time progresses, we fade to black.  We lose our way, we become submerged, we rot. The black leaf representing, for me, the pain of the summer watching my mother fade further away, physically and mentally.

Those are the two polarities of life itself, it seems to me – both light and dark, pain and joy, regret and satisfaction.  To fully feel this spectrum is what it means to be alive.  It can be hard to look at the darkness and pain in life.  I met an Israeli environmentalist on the plane back from back east.  He said people are dying in Israel every day – and no one seems to know or care.  He also said that wanting peace is seen as a left-wing idea.

That made me cry.

So, how have you felt both the pain and the joy of life this summer thus far?  Is there anyone you want to reconcile with?  Is there anything you still want to do?  There’s still another full month before our usual September obligations hit.

Make it count!

As you look back, and as you look forward, what is your image?