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The Indian philosopher J. Krishnamurti remarked that “the highest form of intelligence is the ability to observe without evaluating.”
This fundamental principle guides a lot of the work that I do and is a truth I see replicated in so many places. Landmark Education, a popular personal and professional development company having educated millions of people worldwide, has a similar approach. They speak of a key distinction between observing “what happened” and distinguishing that from “my story” about what happened. Gervase Bushe, in his leadership book Clear Leadership, talks about separating our observations (what happened) from our thoughts about those observations (our story). Marshall Rosenberg, author, peacemakers and creator of “non-violent communication” talks about “jackal language” as the language of evaluation, as the stories we make up about what happened cause pain to others (as a jackal would).
Although many have spoken of it, it’s not a simple principle to put into play. We are meaning-making creatures, with our brains always reaching to make sense of disparate pieces of information. We could not function in this world if we didn’t make evaluations, inferences and assumptions about all manner of thing every day.
At the same time, it is a powerful practice to keep one’s mind on what is vs on all the stories about what is. Our stories are also known as “monkey mind” from a Buddhist perspective. Focusing on “what is” keeps our minds on the simple elegance of what is right in front of us and distances us from the chaos, chatter and confusion that the monkey mind produces.
Can you take this principle into your own life? An easy exercise I recommend to clients and workshop participants is to take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle so that there are 2 columns. Put “the facts’ at the top of the left column and “my story about the facts” on the top of the right column. You could name those columns anything you want, as long as they represent in some way your sensorial observations on the left and your evaluations or interpretations about those observations on the right.
Now think of a situation that is distressing that you want to solve. As you start to write out your story, see if you can keep to the left column. Can you describe the situation with only behaviourial, fact-based language? It seems easy but it isn’t. So, once you are done your work, you may want to ask someone for help. The left column should be as a camera would record the scene, describing only what could actually be seen with the naked eye. All the rest can be left to rest in the right column, leaving behind our painful “jackal” language as a distant past.
“That’s all nonviolence is – organized love.” … Joan Baez
Nice article, Julia! I use that Left Hand, Right Hand columns exercise with my clients and learners too. But, reading about it here, makes me realize I could make use if this tool myself. Isn’t it true: we teach what we most need to know. Thanks for the reminder!
Thank you Lori. Wonderful comment. Yes, I find it is a practice too – I learn so much about our wonderful field for ma, from others and for all!