The word “surrender” has a bad reputation. It can connote giving up, acquiescing, losing. Yet the concept of surrender is central to living a full, engaged life.
What do I mean by that? Well, life is going to present us whatever she does. There will be times when I cannot control every little thing. I can’t control my health, other people or the weather for that matter. But, as the old clichés go, I can control my attitude towards these things.
Yes, but, what does surrender have to do with it you may ask?
Let’s start with a desire. We desire things– whether it’s wanting to win a contract, make a certain amount of income, or have a relationship blossom. Yet, life doesn’t always seem to cooperate. It can look like I’m not receiving what I most desire.
It is in those moments, where surrender becomes germane. When I hit resistance, how will I interpret that? When I hit a wall and I’m not getting what I want – now what?
I can choose to “give up” – to me, that’s not surrender. Giving up is saying: “This situation is hopeless, I will never get what I want, so I am going to walk away. I am going to forget that I want something. I’m going to deny it, negate it, suppress it. I’m throwing in the towel.”
Nope, not what I’m talking about.
Surrender is, as I’ve come to understand it, a lot more active of an activity! Surrender is stepping back and remembering:
“There is a larger plan going on here. I don’t quite get it, but it’s here.”
In those moments of resistance, what I can choose instead of acquiescence, is a gentle letting go of the way I thought things “should” work out. I thought I would get that job, that income level, that relationship.
I might still get what I want in that way, but if I hang on, it’s a death grip. I need to let go. I need to get out of the way and relax. The hardest things is to trust.
So, what I am suggesting is that the “surrender” I mean is actually a recommitment to the deeper feeling I wanted in the first place. Why did I want that particular outcome? What did I want to feel?
The original meaning of the word “surrender” is from the Old French with “sur” meaning “over” and “render” meaning to “give over” or “give back.” To surrender, then, is to give back how you think something should go – give that up; give it back!
And in that clearing, find the feeling, the vibration, the deeper why. Give up how you thought it all should work out and concentrate on who you want to BE. Go for the feeling state of what you wanted- and what needs to be will… find thee.
“The creative process is a process of surrender, not control.” …. Julia Cameron