Since the beginning of January this year, I’ve been engaged in an experiment. I’ve been looking to strengthen my own sense of fundamental wellbeing. Jeffery Martin has been my inspiration, having amassed a lot of research data on what fundamental wellbeing is and how to achieve it.
This last month, my experiment and practice has been to focus on expanding my sense of self, my sense of identity. I want to strengthen my identification with something larger than myself. I’ve been setting my alarm to go off multiple times a day and sitting with connecting with that larger self.
I can’t report in huge changes that I can notice, but I do feel more open. For example, I was recently listening to a podcast by Tami Simon interviewing Spencer Sherman, a wealth management investor. Spencer was talking about a practice he does of equanimity – which he calls “having enough.” He notices what he already has in his life, to offset the pain of focusing on what he doesn’t have, as there is always not enough. Of course, there is also inequity in the world and in the moment, for our spirit, it helps to notice and nurture what we do have in the here and now.
As I listened to the podcast and felt into the possibility that perhaps, in this very moment, I have enough, an image came into my mind. I saw a surfboard on waves and I realized I had always, until now, thought my security came from staying on top of the waves. What came to me is that if I see the surfboard itself as my equanimity, not the times that I am standing up, then I can ride the waves with a stronger sense of fundamental wellbeing. Everything can change around me – good times and rough waters, but if I hang onto my surfboard, I’ll be okay.
That, to me, is fundamental wellbeing.It’s not about clinging to any type of “toxic positivity” (yup, that’s a thing!). It’s about feeling life in all its variations. I know this. I have many a time related to Rumi’s poem The Guest House. But do I practice this consistently? No!
Yet I love the idea that we can achieve a permanent inner sense of equanimity. I want that: to know, no matter what, it’s okay. It’s all okay. That doesn’t mean there aren’t waves and crashes and things to be engaged in. But under it all, we rest on a foundation of fundamental okayness.
This coming month, I want to cultivate an “Enough Practice.” I already have many little signs around my house saying variations of “I am enough.” This month, there will be a twist. I will recite “I have enough.”
I have enough love. I have enough life. I have enough time. I have enough friends. I have enough water and food and air. I have enough.
It makes me feel instantly grateful.
I certainly have enough readers. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for reading my words. Your presence means I have someone to give to. Your receiving is a gift to me.
You are enough for me.