Recently, a friend asked if I owned a fire extinguisher for my home. It’s not something I had thought about and got me thinking. I called the fire department and talked with a very nice Fire Prevention Officer who educated me about the importance of having one and how it can help save lives.
That was instructive.
Conflicts are like fires. They can burn out of control or simmer under the brush for a long, long time.
Over the last few months, I’ve been approached by several Presidents of non-profit boards wanting me to mediate disputes, or help to put out their fires. When conflict gets the attention of someone as high up as the President of a Board, the Executive Director is often involved as well. It could be wide-spread team dissatisfaction. Or a direct report having issues with “micro-managing.” Or the larger community is conflicted.
Leaders and Human Resource Managers often find themselves faced with these big fires and don’t know what to do. So, someone like me is called in to put out the fire.
The problem is, too many times have I gone in, helped put out the fire, only to find out later that another fire was lit. An outsider mediating the dispute, often in secret behind closed doors, doesn’t teach folks about how to put out their own fires, or solve their own conflicts.
That’s why, after decades of mediating, my emphasis has turned to capacity building. My repeated mantra these days is – let’s all learn how to be mediators to put out our own fires.
Now, I’m not as interested in being a fire fighter as I am being a Fire Prevention Officer. I want to help people fight their own fires.
This is why and how my focus has shifted to conflict fire prevention. And the most important thing I learned from the Fire Prevention Officer is that education helps. We need to learn the art of conflict transformation.
“Education in the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” … Nelson Mandela.