Professionals looking to transform conflict can start at any point in these service offerings:
1) COACHING
Coaching is another tool that can be an easy way to start an intervention. It is also a great adjunct to training.
Coaching is used by many to:
* learn new ways to have difficult conversations;
* learn a creative process for attaining goals.
* develop a learning plan for stronger leadership skills;
Coaching is often done by telephone, so location is not an issue. Since 2000, I’ve coached over 1000 hours with hundreds of executive coaching clients.
If you are interested in learning how coaching might help your staff and organization, email me with COACHING in the subject line and we can set up a time to discuss your needs.
2) MEDIATING
Sometimes the motivation to take action is the result of pain – conflicts have become too uncomfortable to continue on “as usual.” In those circumstances, conflict coaching can also be helpful - however, adding mediation is more powerful.
Mediating is a facilitated conversation between two or more parties. As a mediator, I start by interviewing the parties individually to build rapport. Thus allows me to gain a better understanding of the issues and of who else might need to be at the negotiating table.
After that initial assessment, the next step can often be a mediation. The mediations have a set process – starting with an opening stage, moving to identifying the issues, exploring each issue to the point of mutual understanding and helping parties to make more informed choices arising out of the new information they learn in mediation.
If you are interested in exploring this service, email me with MEDIATING in the subject line and we can set up a time to discuss your needs.
3) TRAINING
Training is often the easiest place to start for an organization, as it
is tangible and time-limited. Training can be delivered face-to-face
if participants are local (Victoria or Vancouver, B.C.) or by
teleclasses (for other locations).
The two most popular training topics are:
a) Dealing with Difficult Conversations at Work
This workshop gives you beliefs and tools to be able to face and work through crucial conversations at work.
Difficult conversations are the ones you know you should have but
really wish you didn’t have to! They are the conversations that feel
risky, scary and even dangerous in some way.
These conversations happen to all of us in the workplace - in the
hallways, over the phone, with our bosses, peers and employees, when
facing performance reviews and in meetings. Depending on our position,
we can have them occasionally, frequently, daily or even hourly.
You'll walk away with a step-by-step process for preparing for
difficult conversations, tips on how to navigate them once you are in
them and ideas on how to minimize the stress that are often a natural
part of the territory.
Comments from workshop participants:
* "Started me thinking more about conflict and new ways to think about resolving conflicts"
" "Good overview - increased my interest in subject area."
" "I really enjoyed your style of "discussion" as opposed to 'lecturing.'"
b) Creating Outcomes You Really Want
“Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not
reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them,
and try to follow where they lead.” ... Louisa May Alcott
This workshop is for anyone who finds traditional goal-setting just
doesn’t work for them and needs a new way to create outcomes they
really want.
You will walk away with a simple and flexible process for visioning,
assessing current reality and taking action. Based on the theories of
Robert Fritz and Bruce Elkin and the numerous creative artists they
studied.
Previous Workshop Participants said:
“I learned practical tips for step by step goal setting and achievement.”
“Encouraged me to re-visit the need to have and act on a vision, to write it down.”
*As a result of this experience, I am more excited and optimistic about my own goals.”
If you are interested in either workshop, email me with TRAINING in the
subject line and we can set up a time to discuss your needs.
Why I offer three services…
I have come to see coaching, mediating and training as inter-related services and vital aspects of leadership development in dealing with conflict. Over the years, my perspective on what is needed to support conflict transformation in the workplace has evolved.
At first, training seemed the obvious solution – there was a “skills-gap” and training could help “fix” that. My years on the teaching faculty at three top conflict-training institutions reinforced that belief.
In practice, however, training alone didn’t do it. Some change happened, but it didn’t seem long lasting. Take a class, get excited by what it offers, promise oneself to practice, and then busy lives get in the way.
Concurrently, I was mediating. Again, there seemed to be a similar phenomena to classroom learning. Disputants would sometimes get to the point where they saw change happen right in their mediation sessions.
However, when I would do follow up months later, often the results were not as stellar. People had often gone back to their “old” ways of relating.
As I checked with colleagues, those who did follow up mentioned similar results.
When I came across “coaching” – I found a new piece of the puzzle: new learning, without reinforcement over time, had minimal impact.
Enter my love affair with coaching! Coaching is that missing piece which can help take a theoretical discovery and support change over a period of time.
As one researcher said:
“However good your skills training in the classroom, unless it’s followed up on the job, most of its effectiveness is lost.. in the absence of follow-up coaching, 87 percent of the skills change brought about by the program was lost That’s 87 cents on the skills dollar.”
www.allianceperformance.net/.../CoachingControversy.pdf
Most recently, a colleague was telling her “shortest mediation ever” story. She had coached two disputants over a 6-month period, and for various reasons, they were not coming to the mediation table. Finally, she got them there. They walked in, and after a mere five minutes, the year-long dispute was solved – hands shook, relationships restored.
To me, that makes perfect sense. They had had 6 months of non-judgmental listening and coaching to help shift their thinking. That was an extreme case of coaching (we don’t usually coach our mediation clients for 6 months in an attempt to get them to the table). But great results!
In one organization I worked with, they initially wanted training (many do). We started with a 3-hour session for the management team. Soon after, however, they realized the training was not sticking, so we instituted coaching sessions after the training, to help with integration and learning of the material. Changes were started to happen, people were starting to feel more comfortable to bring up subjects they had long surpressed.
So, long-hidden conflicts started to surface. People needed a safe place and a lot of support to allow these subjects to emerge. At that point, mediation was offered and old wounds were addressed and started to heal.
In another example, a manager wanted help dealing with a conflict between two employees. During the pre-mediation interviews, it became clear the whole team had difficult topics they wanted to talk about but couldn’t. A combination of training for the whole team and team mediation was offered.
What I have learned most about conflict, leadership and training is that it is a constant unfolding mystery! So much to learn, each turn a new adventure.
If you think there is something I might be able to help you or your organization with, please contact me at Julia@juliamenard.com
