• Home
  • About
  • Is This You?
  • Services
    • Coaching
    • Mediating
    • Training
      • Mediator in a Box
      • Tough Conversations – For Leaders
      • Creative Goal-Setting
  • Products
    • Tough Conversations
    • Hold On To Yourself
    • Mediator In A Box
  • Resources
    • Newsletter Past Editions
    • Articles
  • Blog

Archives for February 2020

Taming Conflict and Leaders

February 9, 2020 By Julia Menard Leave a Comment


Click here to read this on my blog and leave a comment!

Last year, I started a podcast with Gordon White, a colleague with whom I’ve done a lot of work with already so we had a shared history to build on.  In our first season, we interviewed people we thought had a lot to offer in terms of the conflict conversation. It was a very stimulating season with us visiting many interesting people to create a deeper understanding of our field.

A key lesson learned after the end of the first season is that we could serve our listeners well if we chose leadership as a theme for our second season.
 
So, that’s what we did!  Gordon and I explain a bit about why we chose this theme here in our first podcast episode of season two.  We also decided to create a 7 part framework for what we think leaders ought to know about conflict and leadership.
 
If you’d like to hear the episode, check it out on our website here (or on any podcatcher).

Mediate While the World Burns

February 9, 2020 By Julia Menard 2 Comments



Click here to read this on my blog and leave a comment!

About 8 months ago, Tammy Chambers, an employee at the Justice Institute of BC, asked me if  I wanted to participate in their TEDx talk.  I am a long-time instructor at the JIBC at their Centre for Conflict Resolution and Centre for Leadership.  It was an honour to be asked.  I then had to apply.  The next hurdle was to be vetted by the others in charge, Jennifer Jasper and Kent Highnam.
 
As I reflect on that experience, I am amazed how many people are so instrumental to anyone’s capacity to create in the world.  Those Justice Institute employees, as well as countless of my friends and colleagues, contributed to making the TEDx experience a highlight of my year.  One memorable moment was sharing the evening and morning with my colleague and friend, Cathryn Lecorre, who was studying to be a Kundalini Yoga Teacher at the time.  She blessed me with my own personal kundalini yoga class on the morning of the TEDx talk!  Can you tell from my presence on stage?
 
Reflecting on all the big and little ways people contribute to our lives is such a humbling experience.  I feel such gratitude as I reflect on this project.  My most heart-felt thanks go to my mother, who died last January 16, 2019.  She was present throughout the project and especially as this TEDx talk was released on January 16, 2020 – exactly one year since she had died.
 
I hope you feel the love that went into bringing this project to life as much as I can. You can view the TEDx talk by clicking here.

Stay Calm to Make Peace

February 9, 2020 By Julia Menard Leave a Comment


 
A few years ago, I had the honour of going on a multi-year studying and writing journey with award-winning writer and mental health expert, Judy Zehr. Our countless conversations resulted in a book we co-authored entitled Hold On To Yourself – How to Stay Cool in Hot Conversations.
 
I learned so much from Judy and from this creative project. One thing I learned about how to stay cool in hot conversations was that what tool you use to help yourself calm down depends on what brain state you are in.  And, being able to determine what brain state you are in, needs you to be aware enough to notice which state you are in.
 
So, to be able to stay cool, one needs to practice some type of mindfulness, some way to strengthen the capacity to monitor our bodily states, even just to know we are becoming upset. 
 
Here’s what I mean:
 
Think back to a time when you were in the grips of some strong emotion such as sadness, anger or fear.  Where did you feel it?

In my conflict classes, I ask this question to people and they are able to point to different parts of their body to articulate where they feel each of these feelings.
 
What about you?  Where do you feel your anger?  What happens to your body when you are frustrated or annoyed or in full-blown anger?  What parts of your body feel activated? 

You can go through the same exercise with sadness and fear.  You may notice they are felt in different regions of the body.
 
For most of us, we are travelling around our day without much awareness of what is going on inside our bodies, so how could we catch ourselves to be able to self-manage?  Add to this that some of our upsets are amygdala hijacks.  These are times when we feel so threatened and afraid, that our amygdala automatically activates our bodies for either fight, flight, freezing or submitting.  Amygdala hijacks happen so quickly, we cannot even notice them first with the thinking part of our brain.  They just happen.
 
You know what I mean. These automatic stress responses happen outside of our control and can happen to all of us from time to time.
 
So what are we to do?

One lesson I took from my work with Judy was to cultivate more strength in my own capacity to be calm.  In this way, mindfulness practices, breath practices and meditation practices all relate directly to peace-making.  Calmer people make for a happier world.
 
If you are interested in what Judy and I found out together in our book, check it out here.
 
And if you have read our book or when you do, Judy and I would LOVE to get to 25 reviews on Amazon. Apparently something magical happens to books when they pass the 25 review mark!   We are sooooo close – so would appreciate your help in getting there (especially if you’d rate us 5 stars!).  I also have a PDF version (with a watermark) if you’d prefer (just ask).
 
Thank you!

Free Conflict Tips Here!

Categories

  • Environment
  • Health
  • Negotiation
  • Uncategorized

Archives

  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017

Copyright © Julia Menard All Rights Reserved